Human Like This

my artistic journey in words + pictures

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the why

In my own weird way this is just for me. Its not helpful because if I write it to be helpful I might get preachy. Or know-it-all-ie or pretend like I have it all figured out, which I don’t. This is just an exercise in letting it all hang out. To write, because I like to write. To create art, because I like to create art. To see if this part of me, that I consider my soul, wants to write letters to my psyche, paint a brush stroke that makes me feel something different, and maybe to get some awareness on what could possibly be true. We are all the same, so maybe a word I select to describe something we all feel lands on you, you are welcome to take it as your own. If you get distracted by my poor sentence structure or weird sense of humor, its ok. This is NOT a helpful blog.

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Sometimes there can be so many rabbit holes, fears of what’s to come, or where are we going. Fears of loss, loosing people we love, not being enough and all kinds of other things we cannot control. Trusting in today, in each moment and not trying to “manage” future pain by worrying about it today.

“We are good people that stretch in Sanskrit and have jobs that don’t require shoes.” Christina Sell

Being a mom is really a lot of fun! I think back to the early days and how hard they can be, and how tired I was omg so intense. And I tried to be so good at it, not understanding this journey is a marathon trip. It’s a big picture, it’s watching them become. It’s watching the ways they reflect you back on you and the ways they are all their own. It’s their laughter and their views on life, its their cute little creations and passions and what means something to them. It’s the way they congregate in my bed to tell me about their day, and the ways they know exactly how to get me to say yes to their hearts desires and how they even want me to say no sometimes. To be the container, the safe place, to climb in my arms and get a dose of love that regulates us both. My womb mates as Max calls us! We have been on this journey together for lifetimes and I’m so grateful for them all!

There are a few things I have learned this week and this is one of them. I’m ready! Find me some things to blow torch. This shit with the supreme court and choice is really fucking ridiculous and I’m not sure what to do! But talk about it with my daughter and and my son in ways that we can understand our humanity, and how our culture makes sex diviant and not natural to being human, healthy and connected. And being a woman means to be embodied and strong. But also protect yourself and be aware. To talk to my son about what it means to love someone and why when a sexy part in a tv show turns on, why we rush to shut it off. What’s the conversations that make sense to an 8 year old and a 13 year old that teaches them their power and they’re autonomy and their community. It’s powerfully human to talk about what’s naturally given to us. So we don’t have to fight it and make it fucking traumatic. That we can take care of ourselves and make choices that align us with our purpose. We all grow, when we can be our natural selves. What upticks us. Connects us.

“I’ve learned I’m most powerful when I’m doing my art.” Andre 3000

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