Human Like This

my artistic journey in words + pictures

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the why

In my own weird way this is just for me. Its not helpful because if I write it to be helpful I might get preachy. Or know-it-all-ie or pretend like I have it all figured out, which I don’t. This is just an exercise in letting it all hang out. To write, because I like to write. To create art, because I like to create art. To see if this part of me, that I consider my soul, wants to write letters to my psyche, paint a brush stroke that makes me feel something different, and maybe to get some awareness on what could possibly be true. We are all the same, so maybe a word I select to describe something we all feel lands on you, you are welcome to take it as your own. If you get distracted by my poor sentence structure or weird sense of humor, its ok. This is NOT a helpful blog.

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Dramatic change can be so disorienting. It has been an interesting process to watch unfold. Idk it’s weird. I’m just being patient with myself feeling this difference. But I’m so grateful for the practices that orient me to something greater. This last Sunday we decided to go up to the NoCo mountains, to the north fork of the Poudre River for ceremony, intention setting and listening in to the whispers. I just read that the rock in this area is over 1.5 MILLION years old. I can’t even wrap my head around a million years… but this to say sitting out on these outcropping of rocks in the mountain breeze, I now am on the hunt for a wooden flute for ceremony to take with me next time. But, as it were, the big theme of the day for me was the energy of the mother. Honoring the solid density and reliability of Mother Earth. Yet so much of her is moving + volatile elements, she’s expansive and unpredictable. I contemplate how she shows up as the mother in me, as well as the way I receive being mothered. Even this tree I set up an altar under I realized afterwards, there were two sets of trees on each side of this path. One giant tree that had these roots above ground that spread so wide and they were so thick, it’s stateliness felt like the father. And then there was this tree, it was clear to me, when I stepped back she was the mother. Her branches created a nest for me to curl up underneath and pray. And here we were the mother and the father, the beaver (my totem, she builds) the salmon (Garrys, he swims where he needs to be to inspire life) we are led by the owl (seer in the dark). Emma the snake, (my earth baby teaching me to relax and be human) and the lynx, Max (as he scales all the rocks, taking stealthy leaps). It’s our family. We are Led. We are listening. We are Healing and growing. And layer by layer, life is revealing what we choose and how we exist together as a group and into the outside world. It feels so good to experience what it feels like to step into the portals that shoot us out into the unknown. The deaths…the rebirths…the living. Honoring it all.

Heads 🆙

Today is the day we celebrate @gmack2020 coming down and thru the portal into this big big world! Without him my life would not be as funny and I would not have perfected my southern accent impression nearly as spot on.

Live music in the mountains on a river. @yondermountain @mishawakaamphitheatre

Sitting with form.

Mondays are all right. 👍

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